Downtime
by dirksies
Summary: While the Seven sail across the Atlantic Ocean, Leo decides that they need to release some of their pent-up stress. And how better to do that than with a musical number? One-shot. Takes place durking MoA.


A/N: I'm sorry that this isn't one of my story that you guys have actually been waiting on, but I hope you can still enjoy it. I have no one to blame for this little crackfic but myself. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nothing, I repeat, _nothing_ is mine!

* * *

Frank was concerned. "Guys, I'm not sure how I feel about this." But perhaps concerned was not a strong enough word. Worried bordering on terror might have been a better description. Jason, Percy and Leo did not help to calm Frank's worry in the least.

"Come on, Frankie Boy," said Leo, grinning like a maniac in a pair of bright, neon pink pants and a tie-dye t-shirt, his hair somehow defying gravity and sticking straight up in the air. "This'll be fun. The girls need the break from the stress and you need to learn to have fun."

Frank scowled. "Not that your reasons aren't completely convincing, but I think I'll pass."

Percy smirked a dangerous smirk as he walked over to sling an arm over Frank's shoulder which was also not helpful. For a reason unbeknownst to Frank, Percy was topless, bearing his pale chest to the world and all he wore on his legs was a pair of very short, very blue shorts. Percy's words, however, were more comforting. "You don't need to worry about making an idiot of yourself in front of Hazel. We're all doing it. And Leo's right, we do need to let off some stress," he murmured to the other demigod, a coaxing smile on his face.

Frank looked at Percy pleadingly. He knew how stressed everyone was, but the last thing he wanted to do was give into peer pressure. "I really don't think I should—" Frank started to say before Jason smoothly interrupted.

"You can do it, Frank," said the son of Jupiter, dressed in a colorfully striped bro tank wearing skinny jeans and a fluorescent workout headband. "Besides, Leo's the one pretty much doing everything."

"You bet I am," Leo said cheerfully.

"So what do you say?" Jason asked.

"Well…"

"Please?" Percy asked in turn.

"…Alright, fine."

"Yes!" Leo punched the air in victory. "Now to find you a costume."

"Wait, what?"

* * *

The female portion of the Seven was settled on the top deck of the Argo, enjoying a brief reprieve from the random monster encounters. Even though Annabeth was currently so focused on her plans that she didn't even realize the "Repair Boy" of the ship, in addition to the other boys, had vanished for awhile. Hazel was too queasy to quite notice anything, hunched somewhat pitifully over the guardrail. Piper fretted by the main mast, her dagger in hand, casting light over the deck as she struggled over whether or not to peer into its depths once more. So perhaps relaxing was not the right word. In any event, a thin line of tension seemed to hum in the air. And whenever it would snap, which it inevitably would, gods know what might happen.

Or perhaps the gods didn't know because suddenly a strange beat began to blare from the speakers of the ship jolting all but the most dedicated (i.e. Annabeth) from their various thoughts. Out from the hold of the ship strutted a…uniquely dressed Leo, bright pink neon pants practically blinding anyone who looked directly at him.

Hazel blinked in confusion before a blush began to slowly creep up her cheeks as she fanned herself. Piper merely rolled her eyes. The music played on, but now, there was singing to accompany the beat. Leo's singing.

_Yeah, yeah  
When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly  
I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah  
This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,  
It's Redfoo with the big afro  
And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow_

Leo continued to sing as Percy, Jason, and a very uncomfortable Frank joined him on the main deck. Frank wore a torn muscle shirt that had spent an afternoon with an artistic child in possession of finger-paints. His pants, for reasons yet to be explained to Frank, were leopard print. Percy, Jason, and Frank began to sing Leo's back-up.

_Ah... Girl look at that body__[x3]__  
Ah... I work out  
Ah... Girl look at that body__[x3]__  
Ah... I work out  
_

Leo nodding approvingly, strutting a couple times around the still oblivious Annabeth before he continued. "_When I walk in the spot_."

"_Yeah_," Jason punctuated.

"_This is what I see_," Leo continued.

"_Ok_," Percy encouraged.

"_Everybody stops and they staring at me_," Leo continued singing. "_I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it_."

Everything stopped suddenly as Leo hit a dramatic pose. "I'm sexy and I know it _[x2]"_

Suddenly, the Argo II began to flash strobe lights, a disco ball dropping down from the crow's nest, as colored spotlights swung around the main deck. The music throbbed out from the speakers of the Argo II, the surrounding water seeming to shake with each note.

Piper and Hazel had found their way to each other somewhere during the first verse and now huddled in a mixture of confusion and amusement. Piper tried to keep a goofy smile off her face while Hazel just tried to stop blushing. The only one still not paying attention to the antics was Annabeth. That would soon change though as Percy stepped forward in his topless glory to take the next verse.

_Yeah  
When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them off  
And when I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)  
This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go  
We headed to the bar, baby don't be nervous  
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch)_

Percy strutted toward Annabeth, carefully plucking the book from her hand. Annabeth's first reaction was carefully controlled rage as she emerged from her solo planning session to pound whoever interrupted her into the ground. When she saw it was Percy, she rolled her eyes. Seaweed Brain. When she saw what Percy was wearing a strange combination of embarrassment, confusion, and joy swept across her face. And when finally registered what Percy was saying, she nearly decked him all over again. Throughout the verse, though Percy continued to smirk and dance, keeping out of arms reach from Annabeth even as he clearly sang to her.

Percy continued on with Leo, Frank, and Jason as back-up.

_Ah... Girl look at that body__[x3]__  
Ah... I work out  
Ah... Girl look at that body__[x3]__  
I work out_

_"When I walk in the spot_," Percy sang/insisted to Annabeth, who at this time was now furiously chasing the boy around the deck of the Argo.

"_Yeah_," said Leo, glee evident in his voice.

"_This is what I see_," Percy continued, dodging a grab from Annabeth, grinning wickedly.

"_Ok_," Jason sang, watching with amusement.

"_Everybody stops and they staring at me_," Percy continued to sing, seeming to shrug helplessly. "_I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it_."

Percy and Annabeth had run all the way around the dock in that now Percy was able to join the boys and Annabeth finally joined the group of girls. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look angry even as a smile crept on her face. Piper was laughing outright, tears of mirth streaming down her face. Hazel had given in to a quiet giggling, none the less confused.

The four boys meanwhile, struck a pose as one before all singing now.

_I'm sexy and I know it__[x2]_

_I'm sexy and I know it..._

The boys split, leaving the way down to the hold open, almost as if preparing the stage for someone else. The girls shared a confused glance before Leo stepped forward, jerking a thumb at the empty space now before them. "_Check it out__[x2]"_

Suddenly, up from the bowels of the ship burst Coach Hedge in something that might have once been a wrestler's suit—an outfit that looked like a woman's one-piece swimsuit—but was now inexplicably rainbow colored. He struck a fierce pose before doing as Leo encouraged in the song.

_Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah__[x3]__  
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah, yeah  
Do the wiggle man  
I do the wiggle man  
Yeah  
I'm sexy and I know it_

The girls watch in horror for a few moments before collapsing into peals of laughter, using each other for support. It was either that or be scarred for life. The girls wisely chose the less traumatic option.

All the boys started singing, joining Coach Hedge on the "stage".

_Ah... Girl look at that body__[x3]__  
Ah... I work out  
Ah... Girl look at that body__[x3]__  
Ah... I work out  
_

The boys plus Coach danced and sang, doing various poses to show off their bodies and prove that they "worked out." The girls were grinning at the performers' antics, forgetting for a little while all the stress they had been going through. The boys, for their part, were enjoying the dance, even Frank, and especially Coach Hedge. All too soon, the song ended with a final line and a final pose.

_Yeah I'm sexy and I know it!_

* * *

A/N: Reviews are most welcome!


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